


Hopeless Pining

by FictionalFangirl24



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bottom Tsukishima Kei, Cute Yamaguchi Tadashi, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Porn with Feelings, Sexual Fantasy, Tsukishima being soft for yams, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Yamaguchi Tadashi's Freckles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:42:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26307262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionalFangirl24/pseuds/FictionalFangirl24
Summary: Yamaguchi is absolutely in love with his best friend. What he doesn't know it that Tsukishima loves him too.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 186





	Hopeless Pining

From the bench, Yamaguchi stares at his best friend with lustful eyes. Tsukishima is standing in front of the net, his arms up in the air, ready to block the opponent’s attack. He knows he should be focusing on the practice match. But he’s not. Instead, Yamaguchi is thinking about Tsukishima’s long, lithe arms and how wonderful it would feel to be wrapped up in them. Or resting around his shoulder, if they went on a movie date, or pulling him closer, cuddling him, before they fell asleep in the same bed. He fantasizes about those strong, dependable hands too. For probably the thousandth time, he imagines Tsukishima holding his hand. His hands would be not be soft, rather callused from volleyball practice, but Yamaguchi imagines it to be the best sensation in the world, to have his love hold his hand. After that, Tsukishima would cup his face. Yamaguchi’s heart would flutter madly as it is now, and he would lean in to kiss the other, heart full of joy.

When the match ends with Karasuno’s victory, Yamaguchi stands up and cheers, overjoyed that his team won. While cheering, he checks out his best friend once again. Tsukishima is sweaty and a little red from the exercise. He is trying to look cool, uncaring, but he has a subtle smile on his face only Yamaguchi could recognize as one of pride. Yamaguchi flew onto the court, congratulating his entire team. Of course, the sincerest praise was reserved for Tsukishima

“You were great today Tsukki!” It wasn’t the sum of Yamaguchi’s feelings, but it was the most he could say without exposing his definitely-unrequited love. Tsukishima smiled at him softly, trying to look cool and humble. “It was nothing special.” Even though it was only a little smile, Yamaguchi’s lovesick heart jumps a little.

After the team had said goodbye and the gym was meticulously cleaned, the two boys set off on their walk home. Yamaguchi chats to his friend as usual. Tsukishima has no idea how Yamaguchi feels about him, and Yamaguchi doesn’t want him to. He knows he will be rejected. Maybe Tsukishima would try to say it doesn’t matter, they can still be friends, because he doesn’t want to hurt Yamaguchi, even though he acts like he does. But it wouldn’t work out. Tsukishima would end up distancing himself. He would find new, better friends and eventually an amazing boyfriend. He would go off to college and Yamaguchi would become a passing thought, someone to mock when he thinks of how dumb they were in high school.

“Why did you shut up?” Tsukishima asks, shocking the shorter boy. He must have stopped talking when he got distracted by his thoughts.

“I didn’t want to annoy you with my rambling.” He lied. Tsukishima stared at him for a bit, before gruffly replying, “I don’t mind you rambling.” Yamaguchi’s heart flipped, doing somersaults in his chest, and he started chatting away again, trying to make his best friend happy.

The next day, the boys are sitting at Tsukishima’s table, studying for exams. Despite the chocolate and snacks they brought to refresh themselves, within a few hours their brains are fried and they can barely even sit up. After Yamaguchi finishes the final page, he flops down on his friend’s soft bed and closes his eyes in exhaustion. He loves Tsukishima’s bed. It’s big and soft and smells like Tsukki. The perfect resting place. Tsukishima lets him rest for a minute as he finishes his own work, before he tries to haul him off.

“Yamaguchi, don’t sleep now”

“I’m tired, Tsukki.” The tired boy murmurs, nearly asleep.

“Come on, it’s only eight pm.” He answers. He takes his friend by the ankles and tugs lightly, threatening to pull him off.

“Goodnight, Tsukki.” In response, the boy tugs him harder and his stubborn friend ends up on the floor, pouting.

“That was mean.” He accentuates the tired sentiment with a loud yawn. Tsukishima rolls his eyes.

“Fine, how about you just stay the night?”

“Thank you Tsukki, that’s so nice.” The boy climbs back onto the bed and under the covers, getting cozy.

“Take a shower first, dumbass.” Tsukishima give him some spare clothes and Yamaguchi goes to shower. Meanwhile, Tsukishima regrets his decision. He didn’t exactly tell him to sleep over because he saw he was tired. He loved the sleepovers he had with Yamaguchi. He loved being close to him, he loved having his friend near him. And whenever he slept over, Yamaguchi would wear Tsukishima’s clothes, which were too big on him, and he looked ridiculously adorable. Seeing Yamaguchi in his own clothes make his heart flutter madly. He is madly in love with his best friend, has been for weeks, maybe months. Not that he is ever going to tell him. If it went badly, he would lose the only person willing to put up with him. His only friend. The only person he’s ever going to love. Tsukishima can settle. He can push his feelings down, play the uncaring best friend.

Tsukishima was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even see his best friend come back into the room. The boy mutters a friendly “I’m back” and Tsukishima replies after a pause. As expected, his friend looks breath-taking, even in the mismatched shirt and bottoms he got. The clothes swamp him, especially the dinosaur patterned shirt. It slips off his shoulder, revealing an expanse of pale freckled skin. Tsukishima thinks what it would be like to run his fingers over it, kiss every freckle. Realizing the awkward pause, he jumps up and hurries into the shower after a very rushed “I’m going to shower now.”

He returns from the shower to find his sleepy friend already lying underneath the covers.

“Move over.” He tells the boy as he slips underneath the covers next to him. Yamaguchi moves over a little, leaving Tsukishima with about thirty percent of the bed. Usually, he’d be annoyed and push him away by force, but he’s also tired, so he settles for the smaller half. He turns off the light, takes off his glasses, and whispers a goodnight to his sleeping friend. Yamaguchi is already out like a light. Tsukishima usually takes some time to fall asleep, so, like every night, he imagines what it would be like if he was dating Yamaguchi. Sometimes, it was sweet, like imagining cuddling him after they woke up, or soft kisses. One of his favourite fantasies is kissing every one of Yamaguchi’s freckles, gently, one by one. Right now, it is hard to concentrate on anything because the subject of his affections is sleeping barely a few inches from him. He feels hyperaware of his surroundings, of everything that’s happening. He notices one of Yamaguchi’s hands resting on top of the blanket. Foolishly, in a moment of desire, he moves his hand right next to the other boy’s hand, lightly brushing against it. This contact, however small, makes Tsukishima’s heart beat like a wild horse. A blush spreads across his cheeks. The other boy doesn’t pull his hand away and slowly, still touching Yamaguchi’s hand, Tsukishima drifts into a peaceful sleep.

The sun is shining its rays into his room by the time he wakes. Tsukishima slowly opens his eyes and looks around. His friend is still asleep. His bright eyes are closed and he has a peaceful expression on his face. Tsukishima can see his eyelashes and every one of his freckles. The peaceful sight stills the sleepy boy and instead of getting up, he lies back down, next to his friend. Yamaguchi’s hands are clasping the blanket weakly. His hair is all disheveled, and Tsukishima thinks he looks beautiful. He knows he should not stare, that it is creepy. He should turn around and try to sleep a bit more. It is the weekend, he should enjoy it. But he can’t take his eyes off Yamaguchi. He’s noticed his lips, which are a little open. They look soft, and oh so kissable. He imagines kissing the shorter boy. It would be gentle at first. Then, they would get more passionate, moving their hands, fitting together like they were meant to be. _What would Yamaguchi taste like?_ He wonders. _Hopefully not fries_. Right now, he looks so kissable. He has a mad urge to kiss him. Tsukishima tries to get rid of the thought, knowing that kissing someone in their sleep is an insane thing to do and it would ruin any chances of them being together. He manages to turn around and closes his eyes, trying to sleep. Since he is still sleepy, he manages to fall asleep.

The rest of the morning is nothing special. They both wake up, have breakfast and Yamaguchi leaves after thanking his parents for the hospitality. Now, after lunch, Tsukishima is left all alone with nothing to do. He finished all his homework, he watched a dinosaur documentary and played video games. Since his parents are out shopping and Akiteru is hanging out with his mates, he was all alone in the house. After a moment of thought, he decided to engage in one of his favourite activities, fantasizing about Yamaguchi. But they aren’t the innocent thoughts of last night. He is sitting up against the headboard of his bed, and he imagines Yamaguchi there too. In his fantasy, Yamaguchi is sitting on his lap, kissing him passionately. He’s holding the taller boy’s his face, heavy in his lap. Tsukishima’s hand slowly drifts to his pants. Yamaguchi stops kissing him and takes off his glasses, carefully. Tsukishima’s hand slips into his underwear. His best friend moves onto kissing his neck, making the taller boy moan quietly. Yamaguchi finds the sweet spot and starts sucking on it, making him moan louder. Tsukishima starts touching himself, immediately getting hard. Quickly, he slips his pants down to his knees and touches himself harder. Yamaguchi has moved off the taller boy’s lap and taken off both their shirts now. He moves onto sucking Tsukishima’s sensitive nipples. The boy moans louder. “Yamaguchi. Oh, oh Yamaguchi.” He breathes out. “Is it okay if I touch you?” Yamaguchi asks, his hands already brushing Tsukishima’s boner. “Yes, please.” Yamaguchi’s hand strokes the throbbing cock, slow at first, then getting faster. Tsukishima feels the familiar heat build up in his stomach, but he doesn’t want to cum just yet. He stops stroking himself. “Do you want me to fuck you, Tsukki?” He asks seductively. Tsukishima moans another yes, pulling out lube from his bedside drawer. He covers his fingers in the slippery liquid, pretending they are Yamaguchi’s and lines them up to his entrance. Yamaguchi is also naked now, and Tsukishima is staring at his hard cock and lube-covered fingers. Yamaguchi leans over him, kissing him, as he inserts the first finger up to the knuckle. Tsukishima gasps loudly. The finger pushes all the way in, making him moan louder than before. The pressure is building up again. Yamaguchi whispers a few praises and pushes in another one, touching Tsukishima’s dick with his other hand. He thrusts his fingers deeper in. After a few deep thrusts, the orgasm hits him. He cums all over himself and finishes still moaning Yamaguchi’s name. When the orgasm is over, he pulls his fingers out and lies down, panting heavily. He looks at his cum-covered fingers before shame hits him like a truck. _What kind of creep jerks off to their best friend?_ He thinks. Even though he’s been touching himself to his unknowing friend for weeks, shame courses through his body after every orgasm. Yamaguchi would hate him if he found out. He wallows in self-pity and shame for a while before going to clean himself off.

Yamaguchi, oblivious to what his love just dreamt of, is also lying on his bed after a guilty wank. Though his daydreams feature less fingering and more of Tsukki’s thick cock in his mouth, the orgasm was just as earth-shattering and guilt-inducing. He slips his boxers back on and ponders. _Am I going to spend the rest of his life guiltily jerking off to Tsukki?_ A foolish part of him wants to say no, wants to confess his love to his best friend. A part of him wants everyone to know how madly in love he is, how much he cares. But a more sensible part of him shuts it down. Tsukishima is too precious to lose.

The next weekend, after their exams are finished, the boys are once again hanging out in Tsukishima’s room. They are huddled up on his twin size bed, sharing a blanket and a massive bowl of cheese popcorn, watching a dinosaur movie. Boldly, Yamaguchi leans his head on Tsukishima’s shoulder and scoots a little closer. Tsukishima’s heart is fluttering, and he can barely breathe out of elation. Not only is he watching a dinosaur movie, but Yamaguchi is leaning against him. He tries to hide how happy he is about it, but a small smile forms. Quite unusual for the supposedly emotionless boy. The joy on his face, only shown by the small smile and bright eyes, makes him even more beautiful than usual to Yamaguchi. As the movie goes on, the more relaxed Yamaguchi feels. Sitting here, watching a movie, not even talking, is somehow so romantic to him. This is what love is to him. Being happy doing anything, as long as it’s together. He just wishes he could tell him. 

“I love you Tsukki.”

It just slips out. The proclamation fills the room with a static. Yamaguchi doesn’t breathe, afraid to break the fragile silence, realizing how phenomenally he messed up. His eyes widen and he stares at his friend in shock, regretting what he said. The movie is still on, but he can’t hear any of it. Apologies get stuck in his throat and all he can do is stare. Tsukishima is staring at him too.

“I’m so sorry Tsukki. Please don’t hate me.” He stutters out pathetically. Finally, Tsukishima stirs into action.

“I don’t hate you, dumbass, don’t apologize.” He swallows hard, “I love you too.”

“Really.” He asks in disbelief, his voice cracking.

“Yeah really. I really truly love you, Yamaguchi.” The boy looks away, embarrassed. There are a few beats of awkward silence. Eventually, Yamaguchi finally gets it. Tsukishima loves him. Tsukishima loves him and he loves Tsukishima. Without thinking, he pulls Tsukishima into a hug. The other boy hugs back, pulling his love closer to him.

“I love you so much, I’ve loved you for so long and I never though you’d feel the same way.” He says, hanging on to best friend.

“Of course, I feel the same way, dumbass.” This makes Yamaguchi giggle a little, mostly out of happiness. His heart feels like it’s going to burst with joy and excitement. Tsukishima smiles victoriously, knowing the shorter boy can’t see him.

After a while, the two pull apart, Yamaguchi smiling shyly and Tsukishima red-faced but trying to look impassive.

“So, would you like to go on a date with me?” The taller boy asked, surprisingly shy.

“Of course! That would be super amazing.” The other smiles a genuine, sweet smile at the response. Gently, he pulls Yamaguchi closer, until he is nearly sitting in his lap. They both lean into each other, until their noses are nearly touching. _We’re going to kiss-we’re really going to kiss_ he thinks excitedly. “Can I kiss you, Yamaguchi?” The other whispers. Yamaguchi nods his head in response. The taller boy closes the distance between their mouths and they are _kissing_. It’s clumsy, inexperienced and their lips are chapped, but it feels like the most amazing sensation in the world, like fireworks going off in their hearts. His arms move around Tsukishima’s neck, pulling him closer, while Tsukishima places a hand on his cheek. It all feels new and foreign, but also like home. It feels right. Their hearts fill with joy, finally getting to hold their loves close. After a while of beautiful, tender kissing, the boys pull apart. Tsukishima’s face is a little red and he’s smiling, which makes Yamaguchi smile too. Soon, the two boys start kissing again. After lusting for so long, it’s hard to get enough of each other.

A week later, the two are lying together in Tsukishima’s bed, trying to sleep, curled up against each other. Yamaguchi’s head is pressed up against his lover’s chest and his arms are wrapped around him. The taller boy plays with his hair, smiling softly. Sometimes, he glances down to check the boy is still there, in his arms, because it’s so incredible. Sometimes, he wonders how he lived so long without this love, without this intimacy. Being together, holding him, kissing him, simply feels natural. Like it was meant to be this way.

He feels lucky for finding the love of his life so young.

Out of happiness, he presses a light kiss to his lover’s head. “Go to sleep Tsukki.” Yamaguchi murmurs as a response, “I don’t want you to be sleepy on our date tomorrow.” Tsukishima smiles fondly and kisses him a little more. “How am I supposed to sleep when you’re so cute?”. The boy clutches him tighter. “Go sleep.” He says, too tired to use his brain. “Okay, Yams.” He replies, closing his eyes too.

They wake up still cuddling each other. Tsukishima wakes up first again, and stares at his sleeping lover. In the light, Yamaguchi looks dazzling. His freckles, Tsukishima’s favourite feature, look like a dusting of stars on his soft cheeks. His hair is messy and spread around him like a cloud. He smells soft and musky, in a way that is uniquely _Yamaguchi._ He could write essays on how amazing his lover is, how perfect Yamaguchi is in every way.

Now, his eyes flutter open and he stares out groggily.

“Mornin’, Tsukki.”

“Morning to you too, drooly.” He stares at the taller boy, confused. “You drooled all over me." Indeed, there is a little pool of drool on Tsukishima’s shirt. Yamaguchi has a bad tendency to drool in his sleep, which the taller boy found oddly cute though he would never admit it.

“Gomen, Tsukki.” The boy apologizes, looking not very guilty. Tsukishima sighs, faking being annoyed, but he knows the freckled boy can see right through him. “Let’s get breakfast.” The taller boys says, ready to get up, but the younger stops him with a hug. “Can we cuddle first?” He asks, still a little asleep, leaning heavily onto Tsukishima. Tsukishima stops and lays down again, cuddling the sleepy boy. Yamaguchi pulls him closer and closes his eyes, sighing gently. “Don’t go back to sleep.” He says, tapping on his lover to get him to open his eyes. “I’m not” He says, eyes still closed, causing Tsukishima to sigh out of annoyance.

Eventually, they did manage to get out of bed, eat breakfast and set off on their date. For most couples, a day-long first date would be too much, but for them it felt natural. Tsukishima couldn’t even remember the last weekend he didn’t hang out with Yamaguchi.

“So, where are we going Tsukki?” The boy asked curiously. “You’ll see.” Tsukishima wanted to surprise his new sweetheart. “Please tell me.” He pleads, doing puppy dog eyes. “It’ll be more fun if it’s a surprise.” He replies, teasing him a little. Yamaguchi makes a little annoyed noise and follows the taller boy.

Fifteen minutes later, they arrive at the beautiful clearing. It’s not much to look at, but it has sentimental value for the two. The tall grasses encircled by trees is where the two used to go everyday to chat for years. Birds chirp up in the trees and the wind blows cool air through the clearing, taking away the heat of the summer day. The strong, woody scent of the forest itself reminds Yamaguchi of his childhood. Whenever their parents told the pair of friends to go outside instead of watching television, they would come here. Mostly, they would chat, but sometimes they would play games too. In secret, Tsukishima was actually playful and kind, especially to Yamaguchi. He never felt as accepted and happy as he did here. When they got older, and Tsukishima became icier and more distant, they stopped coming.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Tsukki!” He says gratefully, smiling widely. In response, Tsukishima looks away and blushes. “We used to love this place, so I thought we could come back and chat.” He mumbles shyly, turning a little red. They sit down under their favourite tree and start chatting like they always do. There is a beautiful nostalgia in sitting under his childhood tree with the taller boy. Except now, they are boyfriends. Now, they are holding hands, Tsukishima’s thumb rubbing softly on the back of his palm. He’s so happy to talk here again. Yamaguchi loves talking to him, because he can say anything and not be judged. Tsukishima cares about him, cares about what he says. Even when the other pretends to not be listening or is wearing his headphones, he knows he’s taking in his words. Their relationship, though it is so new, already feels so normal, so right. Suga would probably say they are like an old married couple. Honestly, they are like that. He would certainly love to marry his Tsukki one day. After talking for a long time, he rests his head on Tsukishima’s shoulder, thinking of something new to say. Tsukishima puts an arm around his waist, pulling him closer.

“Tired yourself out?” He asks playfully.

“I’m just thinking of something new to say.”

“You know, we could do other things while you think.” He replies. Yamaguchi turns to him. Tsukishima’s face is a little red and he isn’t making eye contact. “That wasn’t supposed to sound so horny.”

“No, I think that’s a good idea.” Yamaguchi turns his head and kisses the taller boy. He kisses back fervently. The kissing gets more passionate, intense. The smaller boy climbs onto his lap to kiss him deeper. Tsukishima pulls Yamaguchi against him. The shorter boy’s hands run through his hair, while Tsukishima’ fingers sneak under his shirt. He probably has freckles under there too. The kisses become even more intense and Tsukishima has to really try to not get a boner with the beautiful boy pressed against him. Yamaguchi doesn’t have the same concerns. He opens his mouth for the taller one to shove his tongue into, which he does zealously. Exploring the inside of Yamaguchi’s hot needy mouth makes his heart skip beats and his knees feel weak. Weeks of suppressed emotions and holding back has led to the boys nearly tearing of their clothes whenever they saw each other. Not exactly first date behaviour, but after an eight-year friendship, their first date feels more finally-we-can-make-out instead of getting to know each other.

Their hot make-out session ends when they hear a couple approaching, invading their private space. They scramble of each other and try to look casual as they walk out of the clearing.

“Where are we going now, Tsukki?” The boy asks, still a little breathless from the quick exit. “I was thinking we could buy some fries and watch a movie at my place.” Tsukishima replies casually.

“Sounds great!”

Within half an hour, they are back in his room with two containers of fries. The shorter boy’s is full; he’s leaving them to get gross and soggy. Tsukishima ate half of his while they were still deliciously crispy but left the other half so he could feed his boyfriend later. Yamaguchi plops down on his bed, careful not to spill any fries, and settles on top of the blanket, waiting for his boyfriend to bring his laptop.

The fries have gotten sufficiently soggy in both containers, so he starts munching them while waiting. Tsukishima comes back soon enough. They pick out a movie to watch (not dinosaur related this time, to Tsukishima’s disappointment) and sit next to each other. It is a comedy, and a good one too. At one point, Yamaguchi laughs so hard he nearly chokes on a fry. Sometimes, when there is a boring scene, Tsukishima glances at his boyfriend. He looks so unfairly cute. His nose scrunches up when he laughs. He has adorable dimples whenever he smiles and soft hair that smells of strawberry shampoo. He feels so incredibly lucky to have him. When the fries run out, he hands him the half he saved, earning him a grateful, “Thanks Tsukki!” and a smile brighter than the sun.

Then, those run out too. Without the distraction of food, they focus on affection. The taller boy’s arm goes around his boyfriend’s shoulders and pulls him closer. Yamaguchi scoots closer too, placing his head on his shoulder again. “Your hair tickles.” The taller boy says, faking annoyance. The shorter replies with a cheeky ‘gomen Tsukki’. Still, he keeps cuddling the boy, happy to be so close to him. The pleasant pressure of his head on his shoulder, the comfortable warmth of his boyfriend pressed up against him, makes him so incredibly happy.

They cuddle until the movie ends. Yamaguchi has to go home now (after all, he’s been with Tsukishima since yesterday’s dinner) so the taller boy offers to walk him home. The walk is full of Yamaguchi’s excited chattering and the occasional mumble from his boyfriend. In some ways, it’s the same as it was before they decided to date. In some ways, it’s different. Now, Tsukishima links with pinkie with his boyfriend, a small affection the smaller boy treasures. Now, the taller boy looks at him with a new kind of affection, a look that makes him melt.

Now, they are both much happier.


End file.
